


Five Minutes of Normal

by susieboo



Category: DC Cinematic Universe, Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fantasy, Fluff and Angst, Gender Roles, Humor, Idealism, Light Angst, No Plot/Plotless, Non-Sexual Roleplay, One Shot, Roleplay, Sad, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 01:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7736959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/susieboo/pseuds/susieboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We'll never be normal, dollface. You know that."<br/>"Yeah. But we can pretend, can't we? For five minutes?"</p>
<p>[Oneshot. Quinnshot. Very shippy and fluffy and kind of angsty.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Minutes of Normal

**Author's Note:**

> Assume this takes place sometime after the movie, and they're both somehow out of prison. And that Harley either left the Joker, or he died in a fire or got crushed by the Batmobile or something, because a girl can dream.

"This can't last," he reminded her, though he didn't stop kissing her even as he said it.

Harley pulled away, annoyed. Floyd had _such_ a way of killing the mood. "You're ruining all the fun!" she said, pouting.

He laughed a bit, running a hand over her pale hair. "I'm just trying to be realistic. You and I must have a hundred people who want us dead, between the two of us, not to mention the Wall's not too happy with us, either..."

"That's not the sort of thing you bring up when you're on a date," she protested.

"Oh, this is a _date_?" Floyd asked, eyebrows raised. 

"Why not?"

He didn't say anything, and just glanced pointedly to the dead bodies on the floor. He hadn't been the one to put them there, for once. Harley just really sucked at picking romantic spots to meet.

"...What?" she asked, not making the connection.

Floyd just laughed again, rolling his eyes. "We'll never be normal, dollface. You know that."

Harley deflated a bit, slumping back against the wall. "Yeah," she admitted. "But we can pretend, can't we? For five minutes?"

He tilted his head, looking at her. "You off your meds again, Harls?"

"Ha-ha," she snapped. "I'm just saying... five minutes of normal. We can do that, if we tried."

"We're pretty far out from normal. Not sure I'd know where to start."

"Make it up as you go," Harley said, smiling a bit. She pecked his lips, as if trying to convince him.

"I didn't know you were into roleplay."

"Yes, you did."

"Yeah, okay, I did."

"Go on..." She nudged him a bit, giving him that smile that she knew perfectly well had become his weakness.

Floyd sighed, smiling in spite of himself, and decided to give it a try. For her sake, he told himself. Totally for her sake.

"Honey, I'm hoooome," he said, the phrase practically a parody in itself by now, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Oh, good, I've been missing you all day!" Harley said, draping her arms over Floyd's shoulders. "The kids were asking if we could go to the carnival this weekend?"

"Are we doing the housewife, father-knows-best, 1950s sitcom thing?" 

"Don't break character!" she said. "And yes."

"Isn't that a bit sexi--"

"Floyd!"

"Sorry." He tried to get back into "normal" character. "Well, have they done all their homework?"

"Yeah, but Zoe's been having trouble with her math. Think you could help her?"

"I could give it a try."

Harley smiled, giving him another quick kiss. "How was work?"

"Oh, terrible. Martha's been really getting on my nerves."

Harley shook her head. "Fucking _Martha_."

Floyd snorted. "You think that's how normal housewives talk?"

"That's how they talked in Brooklyn," she said.

"...Fair enough."

Harley laughed a bit, kissing him again. "Just wait until you see what I've made for dinner."

Floyd kissed her back, trying his best to pretend that this was even remotely close to a reality that he and Harley could achieve. That this wasn't a completely absurd fantasy.

"Remind me," he said, "what was the wedding like?" He didn't know why he said that. It just came out.

Harley didn't seem to be too surprised by the question. Almost immediately she said, "We got married on August fifth, we got that shelter at that park in Gotham we both like. Zoe was a bridesmaid, remember?"

He smiled. "I remember." Harley had never met his daughter in person, but she always seemed to adore her simply from hearing about her from Floyd.

"I wore a long white gown."

"Of course."

"And all the bridesmaids wore pink. Pam was the maid of honor. And your best man was..." She trailed off.

"...Probably Flagg," he admitted.

"Oh, right! Flagg looked so dashing in that suit. It was a small wedding, just our close friends. And we honeymooned in California, we saw all of San Francisco and Los Angeles..."

"I hate LA," Floyd said, laughing breathily.

"Yeah, but you went 'cause you _looooove_ me."

Floyd didn't say anything, instead he just kissed her again, pushing Harley gently against the wall, running his hands through her hair. 

Harley kissed him back, dreading the moment she'd have to let go. It was almost embarrassing, how often she'd imagined the exact wedding she'd just described. Even back when she was a doctor, Harley had always known she wanted to get married and settle down someday. Even if she kept working (and she likely would have, she loved psychology), she wanted to have kids with the white picket fence. She'd wanted it ever since she was a little girl. But a lot had changed since Harley was a little girl. Sweet, innocent, idealistic Harleen Quinzel was no more. She had been replaced by Harley Quinn, a psychopathic murderer who would certainly never get to walk down the aisle in a white gown or raise children or have anything resembling a normal life. As much as she fantasized about moving away with Floyd and his daughter, starting over and being a normal wife and mother, she knew it'd never happen.

And five minutes of normal couldn't last forever.

Finally, after an eternity set over only a few minutes, Floyd pulled away, sighing. 

"Five minutes are up?" Harley asked sadly.

"Five minutes are up," he said, sounding regretful.

"...We should probably get out of here." Harley glanced at the corpses on the floor. "Don't want Batsy pinning these on us."

"Yeah. And we shouldn't leave together."

"Good idea." Harley kissed him one last time, before backing away. "Okay, you go first."

Floyd put his mask back on, turning to go.

"Hey, Floyd?"

"Yeah?"

"Want to pretend for another five minutes tomorrow?"

"...Same time, different place?"

"Of course."

He smiled, though he knew she couldn't see it. "Yeah," he said. "But this time, I get to pick the spot!"

"Deal."

**Author's Note:**

> So I just saw the movie today, and was blown away by how much chemistry Will and Margot had. Here's to hoping Deadshot will turn up in Harley's spin-off! I hope you enjoyed this fic, and I hope you leave some kudos and lots of awesome comments.


End file.
